|Photo courtesy of Charles M. Wrenn III|
The Merriam-Webster dictionary says “willpower” is energetic determination. I wonder if Walmart is offering any of that during their after-Christmas sale? I’ll take a cart full of it, please.
My problem is . . . I. Can’t. Stop. Eating.
It all began with Linda’s nut roll, escalated with Deb’s truffles, got worse with Cheryl’s Mississippi mud pie, and became a full blown catastrophe with Miriam’s cookies and coffee cake. Never mind the Honeybaked Ham leftovers still in the fridge. Every cell in my body is screaming at me to cease and desist.
“Please!” They’re crying in their little cell voices, all 75 trillion of them. “Not another bite! Our fat cell companions are expanding and there’s going to be a population explosion! Watch out! It’s a hostile takeover!”
Why can’t I pass by a seasonal goody without taking a bite? You’d think I’m never going to have the opportunity to eat again, the way I’m nom-nom-nomming my way through the month of December. I’ve packed on some pounds, too, as evidenced by my Christmas day decision to wear sweatpants instead of blue jeans. The elastic waist wasn’t just appreciated, buttercup—it was necessary to prevent the asphyxiation of my tummy by Levi Strauss.
Every year I tell myself I’m going to exercise my willpower to stay away from the goodies, and every year I finish up December by digging my Weight Watchers’ guide from the back of the pantry. Every stinkin’ year.
Maze mice learn faster than I do.
There must be a way to boost my willpower, because there’s no way to stop the influx of holiday yummies into my kitchen. I could threaten my friends by promising to write unflattering portrayals of them into my novel if they don’t quit with the goodies already. But that wouldn’t be very jolly of me, and the fam might protest.
What do you do to strengthen your willpower over the holidays? Anything? Or do you eat what you want and figure you’ll pay the price come January? If you have willpower secrets, I think you should share. As long it doesn’t involve chocolate, I should be okay.
See you next for Book Blurb Friday!